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  • Writer's pictureApryl James

Potential Bae (part 2)

So nations, lets continue our conversation. So I am guessing ,most of you all prefer to message me privately. The most common question I am asked is "should you approach potential bae? and "how will I know he/she is the one?"


Friend ,I have no idea, seriously.(lol) I will share my opinion, we will talk scripture and we will seek the face of the one that knows the purpose of your life. But before that , lets continue the story from last week. (If you have not read the previous post,do so now).



 

Sitting in the back of the vehicle, with the entire scenario of your most clumsy and needlessly awkward encounter with PB replaying in your mind. You take your phone out and go unto their Instagram and you make a decision that "if it is to be,it will be".. Just before exiting their page ,an interesting comment catches your eye. An overly friendly conversation between PB and one of your mutual friends. Its one of those comments that instantly makes you have the expression,woowwwwwwww! You see that person BOLDLY pursuing your PB and they are responding entertaining the conversation almost blindly. You screen shot and send to your bestie,ensuring that they know that things are not looking up for you and "PB".

At this point,your friend is still backing you and you both continue to roast that person for being so "thirsty" and even thinking that they could pursue your PB! Your friend notices that you are actually hurt concerning what you see and begins to asks you some very important questions. Have you spoken to God about him/her?, Have you shown interest in him/her?, do you know if they are dating anyone?. The overwhelming questions brings out your fears and you decide to retract your nearly non existent"pursuit" and convince yourself that maybe they are indeed not the one. You decide to actually try to answer some of the questions that your friend asked and you realize that the biggest mystery piece is 'HOW DO THEY FEEL ABOUT ME?". At this point the only solid evidence you have is that they know that you are alive and they know your name. They may also follow you on social media but you have no idea if you are there type or even if your attempt to show interest will be reciprocated. Insecurity now steps in, and again you decide that you will retract your fantasy and play it safe...maybe as you usually do.. You decide to give Potential Bae a rest for now.


Then Something happens!


This time you just ran out of work to grab lunch ,you are with your coworkers and you enter the nearby restaurant. You are smiling, it has been a great day at the office so far and you love coming to this spot to grab a quick meal. To your surprise,someone is tapping you on the shoulder , you turn around and you are greeted with the biggest smile from PB ,who then comes in for a hug. You have taken them out of your mind for a while so you are very composed this time around during the conversation. You all exchange "hey's" and 'hello's"and you ask them what they are doing there. They state that they work nearby and you share where you work as well. In your mind it's like BING! is this really happening, this must be a sign,ike what are the odds. To you , progress is happening and its happening on its own. You order your food and your coworkers at this time are observing the very fine specimen that you are in conversation with. You both continue to talk and exchange random details about what you all do, their plans for the rest of the day and an upcoming mutual concert that you both happen to be attending. They share their love for the artiste and you begin to realize that you both have a lot in common. As you are beginning to enjoy this random meet up, PB gets a phone call and simply hand signals you goodbye,grabbing their food and leaving quickly.


You are left feeling exuberant, happy,sad,confused,hopeful.....back in your feelings!


So now you are fully back to having a Potential Bae....that you clearly are very interested in and who you now know three new additional facts about.


So Nations, whats your next move? Like feel free to comment or just play out the entire scenario in your mind. Like really think about the HOPE ,that just walked into the mind of this situation and the confusion yet desire as to what comes next.


The reason blogs like this are so important,it's because it really encourages you to think about the 'ideas,concepts,value system,fantasies,insecurities,fears and every other thing connected to dating in the 21st century. It is indeed a tricky thing and most times ,in my opinion ,one of the biggest hindrances for people taking chances in dating today is this fear of rejection.


In dealing with this ,I will refer to you're previously asked questions



1.Should you approach Potential Bae?


Well judging from our scenario above, if that is your current situation. You have as we say,a foot in the door. You guys communicate,you all work nearby, you are having a lot of unexpected meet ups which results in very friendly conversations. Friend I say,maintain that and it may in fact grow. Next time ,maybe offer to meet up for coffee or something. If you are a female who tends to be on the more introverted side and you are likely to not make the first move. Then by all means..social media should be used to your advantage friend. Show interest in their photos ,maybe slide in a dm on a related topic and even post some awesome pics, I am sure you will get a double click on the gram. My go to is always to God and I advise you to keep it 100 with him. Let him know how you feel and ask for what we christians love - 'A next sign". You may get some big ones..like continuing to run into them or you may find yourself crushing harder but really use this in between time to get some clarity from God. Make a list---- what are you looking for? what do you NEED from bae, what are you BRINGING to the table? You have a table? (lol). But seriously use this time to develop those very important areas and as the bible says "He who findeth a wife"...it does indicate a purist on the guys behalf but it also indicates that the female was in a place (mentally,spiritually etc) to be found ,hence favor comes from the lord. So you my friend, talk to daddy God and make that list and check it twice....Potential Bae can very well become Bae!



2. How will I know he/she is the one?


This always baffles me because I am not sure if I believe that there is this is one person designed for us.I do believe that there are people who are aligned with the purpose that God has birthed us into the earth for. I do believe that there are people who can meet all the requirements on our checklist and some . Hence I totally believe that finding this person or having this person find us is so integral and wrapped in being in the will of God. I say that because if you are doing what God has called you to do, it will just be a matter of time that you will meet people who are on your path that match your fly! They can help you to fulfill your purpose and vice versa. So I would say that you would know that person is the one because they will fit, they will be what we know to be a soul mate because they will be in alignment with Gods desires for your life and . There is this beautiful thing called destiny,you and bad have one and it must fit,like to me..thats the most amazing thing. So as I have been reiterating throughout is go to God with your heart and stay in alignment with God for your life. Don't try to run ahead of him but know that he will place people in your life that are destined to be yours. You may have to take a leap of faith and even come out of your comfort zone by pursuing them even if its just saying the hey's hello's and showing interest. But when you get the gut feeling like this has to be "the one"...go to God and trust the process.


Genesis 2:18 ESV
Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”-
Proverbs 18:22 ESV
He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.Psalm 37:23 ESV
The steps of a man are established by the Lord, when he delights in his way;
1 John 5:14 ESV
And this is the confidence that we have toward him, that if we ask anything according to his will he hears us.

My prayer for you Nations, if this is your current season,that God gives you clarity as you try to figure out if Potential Bae is for you or not. For those who are dating, waiting or just pure gazing. I pray that God grants you your hearts desire as you delight in him .Until then,keep building you,loving you and doing you!


Lets pray

Dear Heavenly Father,

God you are the master match maker,because you designed this beautiful thing called relationships. Your purpose and plans for us are marvelous and you desire us to be in great godly relationships that honor you. Help us to remember that you are concerned with everything that concerns us so help us to trust you with our heart. I pray for every person that has had negative dating ,relationship experiences in the past and now are so hurt and afraid to move forward. I pray you're healing oil with touch and restore every broken area . I ask Oh lord that you would give us a desire to wait and trust you and not to settle for anything than the best that you want and desire us to have. God I place every person reading this into your hands and I ask that you grant them the desires of their heart . Thank you lord for loving us and I thank you in advance for the beautiful relationships that will manifest that will bring you glory across the Nations of this world. We declare and pray this in Jesus Name.


Be blessed Nations, love you all,

Love always,

A

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